I would say that I want to write, but I feel a need to write. However, everything is blocked up. When I try to speak my feelings and my emotions, they come short, my lips won’t open. When they do the words fall out in the tiniest of whispers. When I am able to speak, it is as if the person receiving them is on another planet, and their responses are non-sequiturs that leave me feeling isolated.

But they aren’t who I want to talk to anyway. Even my fingers when I type can’t quite get all of the problems out. Where do I begin? Where will it go? Why do I feel the need to ask? Is it better not to explore this, just wait it out? The one I want to talk to is the one who patiently watches my face struggle to let out the words. He sees the mind working, and can feel the vibrations of the cogs grinding in my head as he pulls me into his embrace. And he waits, knowing half of my curse, thinking he is to blame for my melancholy.

I really hope I can find the words soon.



Also, happy one year anniversary to this blog. If you can say happy for a lot of the things I have posted…


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